The Affairs of a Duke
by Ammeh
Summary: Neji comes up with a rather clichéd plot to inherit. Not that we're complaining.


**Title:** The Affairs of a Duke (or "Neji Wants a Fief, Dammit!")  
**Rating:** Eventually NC-17. For this chapter, PG for reference to hookers, because if I say PG-13 people will expect making out.  
**Pairing:** NejiHina  
**Warnings:** Side pairings, many of which are either just-for-the-hell-of-it-crack, or uncommon. If you don't like, they're for Fated and I, not you, so suck it up.  
**Summary:** Neji comes up with a rather clichéd plot to inherit. Not that we're complaining.

**Notes:** AU, in that happy quasi-medieval world that has all the charm, minus the smelling really bad and period accuracy. Set in supposed-to-be-general-but-we-all-know-it's-England, with references to an Eastern country that is also supposed-to-be-general-but-we-all-know-it's-Japan. Apologies for not writing all dialogue in Middle English for historical accuracy, but I don't speak Middle English, and I doubt the readers do either. If you notice something else that bothers you, like everyone having Japanese names, ask because I probably have a rationalization for it which I am restraining myself from sharing because then the author's notes would be as long as the fic. Speaking of which...FIC.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

He wasn't sure how he'd ended up here, and frankly, he didn't much care. It still gave him a sense, though, that some higher power must be snickering behind his back, mocking him for running all the way around the world only to end up right back where he started.

He should've expected something like this, he really should have. And he really had no right to complain—when his uncle had funded his education halfway across the globe, he had every right to summon him back and demand he put that education to use. He'd been foolish to think he could get away for good, not when he belonged to a family that wouldn't trust an outsider to shine its shoes, and it had been this realization of his own stupidity coupled with his unbreakable sense of duty that had made him set down the life he'd been starting and board the barge back "home."

Home sweet home. The place that meant bowing, smiling, and gritting his teeth and pretending that yes, he was absolutely _honored_ to be so very trusted by the Duke, nevermind that he was the man's own _nephew_ and if this were any other noble family than Hyuuga he'd be expecting a sizeable fiefdom any time now. However, this _was_ the Hyuuga line, and he'd be expected to be grateful for a position that in most families would have gone to a trusted servant. If only he could have stayed in the East. Or gotten a fief. Either would be good.

At the moment, really, he'd have preferred just about anything to entering the antechamber, bowing to his uncle—full bow, the man hadn't sent him to be educated in the East for nothing—and sitting down on the edge of one of those fancy imported loveseats he remembered from 5 years ago. His uncle regarded him from his chair, and he found himself missing the rigid formal seiza he'd taken with his Eastern tutors…better than this deceptive façade of casual equality, as though they might be meeting for an affable chat on the latest scandal of a bastard heir.

"Neji."

He bowed his head, willing his voice into absolute apathy. "I have returned, your Grace."

Duke Hiashi nodded slightly, fixing Neji with his stare. "I suppose you are wondering why I have summoned you back from the East?"

_No shit, Sherlock._ "Ah…yes, your Grace."

Another nod. "Very well then." He pulled a cord behind him, ringing a bell in the adjoining room, and a girl stepped in. Neji recognized her instantly, the years since he'd last seen her having taken nothing much than a bit of roundness from her face, added it to her figure.

The Duke cleared his throat. "Hinata Hyuuga, my eldest daughter."

Was the man that hung up on formality, or did he honestly think Neji would forget his own cousin? He stood and bowed to her stiffly, fighting his disgust at the action. "Lady Hinata."

She blushed and looked down, and she really hadn't changed at _all_, had she?

"She has come to a marriageable age, and as such needs a chaperon."

He flinched imperceptibly. "Chaperon, my lord?"

The Duke nodded firmly. "I, of course, am far too busy with affairs of state to supervise Hinata's time with her suitors, and the servants naturally cannot be trusted to reject bribes. You have proven yourself to be dependable, therefore I shall entrust her to you."

A _**chaperon**_? He had been steeling himself for a servant's position, but he had at least expected to be appointed her _bodyguard_, or something of the sort. How could there ever be any honor in the position of a _chaperon_? What was he to do, just sit around watching people have tea and make sure that his dear cousin didn't get laid down over the crumpets?

He quickly recomposed himself, drawing a breath. "If it pleases your Grace, I underwent training in Eastern fighting techniques during my absence. Shall I also ensure the Lady Hinata's bodily safety?"

The Duke pondered for a moment, before giving a grandiose nod of his head. "Very well, I shall permit you to act as necessary to defend her should the need arise, but your main function will be that of her chaperon. You are to remain present during all visits with her suitors, and help to advise my choice of one with your own observations. You will be with her during any free time in which she is not with her tutors, and you will sleep in her quarters to prevent any overeager young beaus from climbing the terrace."

He clenched his teeth, but nodded. "As you wish, your Grace."

"Ah, yes, Hinata, sit." Hiashi waved a hand at the loveseat. Hinata sat timidly on the cushion next to Neji, eyes fixed to her lap as she smoothed out non-existent wrinkles in her dress.

"Now that that's settled, Neji, you stayed at the castle for several days before you arrived here, did you not?"

Neji considered his answer for a moment before responding, aware that the question needed to be handled much more delicately than a simple 'yes' or 'no.' "For four days, your Grace. The Emperor's second son accompanied me from the East, and I wanted to make certain he was comfortably settled in."

"The Emperor's younger son? This is news to me."

Biting down the urge to point out that this was the first chance he'd had to mention it, Neji nodded. "Prince Sasuke had expressed a desire to visit the West. As our Eastern relations were most hospitable to me during my stay with them, I thought to thank them by bringing the family into the favour of the Emperor. Thus, I extended an offer of hospitality."

The Duke nodded. "And of course the false King was honored to receive such a guest, as honorless a person as he may himself be."

Neji felt a stir on the loveseat next to him at this statement, and looked over to see Hinata clenching her hands tight, her mouth opening as if to speak.

"Ah…um…" she stammered, wringing her skirt in her lap. "A…actually I think that that's a bit…h-harsh, Father. K-king Naruto's father may have been an…usurper, but there was no one else to take the throne… I-I actually really…admire King Naruto for taking the responsibility when he knew people would d-discriminate, and he's done a very good job as King…"

Her father glared at her harshly. "You shame me in front of your cousin, Hinata."

She hung her head nervously. "Please forgive me, your Grace."

The man sighed. "You see why I must marry her off, Neji? The girl has no mind for politics whatsoever. I don't see how I ever begat such a useless child."

Neji nodded, not sure if the man was expecting a response or not. Apparently he wasn't, because he continued. "Beyond that, Neji, how is the Prince settling in?"

He shrugged a bit. "Well enough. He developed a bit of an instant rivalry with the usurper's son, but it's amicable enough. The daughter of the Marquis of Haruno is quite enamoured with…either the Prince or his bodyguard, no one is entirely sure anymore."

"Let us pray that it is the bodyguard, then, and that the Prince is still open to marital prospects. Does the Prince show any sign of returning her irresolutely directed affections?"

"No, your Grace, he is quite cold to her, as well as to the other females of the court. He refuses any audience with aspiring mothers, and he has turned down dalliances from all but one lady of the inner court."

"So he has accepted a mistress, then? Why did you not inform me immediately?" the Duke snapped accusingly, glaring at Neji as though this was a plot to withhold information.

Choking back several rude comments regarding the foolishness of the Duke's assumption, Neji took a deep breath before replying evenly, "Quite the contrary, Uncle Hiashi. Lady Tsunade did not offer, seeing as she is to be wed in scarcely a month." He knew that the man would pretend that he had not said anything, refusing to acknowledge his error, and he relished the opportunity this gave him to refer to the man informally without fear of reprimand.

Sure enough, the Duke frowned slightly at the disrespect, but quickly acted as though the past few exchanges been merely an exceptionally long pause. "So the Prince has shown no interest whatsoever in any lady of the court?"

"None whatsoever, your Grace, he prefers the company of the false King to that of any lady who has shown him interest. He was similarly disinterested when I knew him in the East. His bodyguard, on the other hand, flirts terribly, in particular with the young Lady Haruno." Neji knew perfectly well that his uncle had no interest in the doings of the Prince's bodyguard—it was his way of subtly goading the man to leave him the vague feeling that the meeting had not gone his way, while avoiding any action for which he could be reprimanded.

He felt the tiny shift in the cushions as Hinata tensed at his usage of the phrase "false King," and his initial reaction of pity quickly fell through to annoyance. All three of them knew perfectly well that Naruto had more right to the throne than anyone else still living; it was common knowledge. Personally Neji had no problem with Naruto as ruler—indeed, he liked the boy better than he did his uncle—but Hinata should know that no hint of such opinions was ever to be expressed in front of her father if one wanted to stay in the man's good graces. Well, considering her tactless dissent earlier, Neji supposed that she really _wouldn't _understand his methods. He found himself for once in agreement with his uncle: the girl really did have _no_ mind for politics.

As predicted, his uncle cut him off. "The bodyguard is unimportant. I am interested in the possibility of a union between Prince Sasuke and my daughter. As there seem to be no impediments, you are to send off a letter requesting audience at earliest opportunity."

There was no way that he was about to do that. He couldn't very well reiterate that Sasuke had never accepted a marriage-related meeting in the entire five years Neji had known him without insulting the Duke as well as Hinata, so he'd have to come up with something else.

"That would be untoward of me, your Grace. I am already in Prince Sasuke's debt, and to make further requests of him may expel me from his favor. I could, however, invite him under the pretense of the Hyuuga house extending hospitality, and mention that my uncle would very much like to meet him, allowing you to introduce Hinata and discuss the matter yourself. Would that be satisfactory?"

The Duke humphed and nodded. Neji gave an imperceptible sigh of relief; if the message was a personal invitation and not a House matter, his uncle would not want to see it before it was sent off, and he could word it in such a way as to warn Sasuke. He had stayed in the Imperial Palace long enough to know that unexpected marriage audiences put the Prince in an _incredibly_ foul mood, and his mere presence would likely terrorize Hinata enough as it was.

"Well, then, the both of you are dismissed," the Duke stated, just a touch too ostentatiously. "Neji, your chaperon duties begin immediately. Accommodations have already been made in anticipation of your arrival. Any further instruction will be imparted as needed. Send off the invitation to the Prince as soon as possible." Cutting off brusquely, he gave a terse nod and immediately ignored the pair in favor of some documents he had set aside when Neji entered.

Hinata curtsied timidly and left the room. Neji followed suit, almost tempted to skip the bow and see if the Duke _was_ in fact paying them no attention whatsoever, but he wasn't the type to take such risks. Hinata was waiting for him just outside the door, immediately averting her eyes once she saw him looking at her.

"L…Lord Neji," she stammered, staring at her feet.

"The 'Lord' is hardly necessary, _dear cousin_," he replied sardonically, tilting her chin up with a finger and forcing her to look at him. "In case you've already forgotten, I am now your _servant_, and do not warrant a title. Particularly not from a child of the Duke, _Lady Hinata._" Some part of him was shocked at the cruel tone of his words; before leaving he had always spoken to Hinata with the same restrained, deferential apathy he accorded her father. It startled him to feel the pleasure he derived from the rush of power that came with treating her so harshly. Begging her pardon crossed his mind, but that would imply he had no right to use such a tone with her. In all honesty he didn't, but he knew Hinata would take the blame on herself for any criticism. Thus, he was free to use whatever tone he liked with her in private, without fear of punishment. And what, he reasoned, would be the harm in it? In the years he had been away he had grown accustomed to a feeling of control; it would be unreasonable to strip himself of it completely. He needed a sense of power, Hinata obviously needed to toughen up: it would be beneficial for both of them.

The Hinata he'd known 5 years ago wouldn't have spoken up against her father, but perhaps that had been a fluke, because as she bent her head and murmured, "Yes, cousin Neji," she didn't appear to have changed at _all._ (Naturally, he reasoned-- his bet would be on swine taking to the skies long before Hinata ever got a backbone. Some people were just born weak.)

"Well, _my lady_," and he allowed himself to fill the title with all the scorn he felt at it before regulating himself to his normal emotionless monotone, "might you show me my new quarters? And perhaps summon a servant to bring writing materials? I am not sure if my new…position entitles me to command the servants myself."

"I…wouldn't imagine your rank has changed, L—cousin Neji," she murmured, and he snorted.

"And upon what basis did you draw that conclusion, my Lady?" he inquired flippantly. Hinata looked away and did not respond. Instead she started down the hallway. Neji absently wondered how she naturally walked so quietly; he had spent months training in the East before he could muffle the clicking of boot on stone without concentrating on it. Perhaps she'd make a good—no, that was ridiculous, it must be due to some oddity of female shoes.

"Ah! Shikamaru!" Hinata called softly, waving over a young man who had been observing a maid dust a table of valuable knick-knacks. He sighed slightly before ambling over and giving a lean that, with some creativity, might be able to be called a bow.

"My Lady?" Shikamaru was the Hyuuga household's steward, despite being no older than Hinata. He was a genius with finances, and a fantastic judge of character when interviewing potential servants, but his staff management skills were severely lacking…or at least his motivation for the task was. (Neji had learned this from an argument between the two servants sent to retrieve him from the palace, one of whom quite idolized Shikamaru and the other being rather scornful of him. Shikamaru's father Shikaku had been the steward when Neji had left, but apparently his wife had coaxed him into early retirement.)

"Ah, Lo—Cousin Neji requires writing materials to send a letter to the castle. Please bring them to my quarters," Hinata requested, her tone far more respectful than Neji knew her father to take with the servants.

"It will be done shortly," Shikamaru replied, glancing around for an unoccupied subordinate to pass the order off to. Finding none, he sighed. "Psh. Troublesome," he muttered as he started off towards the storerooms. Apparently promotion to steward hadn't made Shikamaru any more respectful.

After about a minute's walking through corridors Neji wished he didn't remember quite so well, Hinata stopped at the door he'd expected her to, unlocking it with a key from her wrist. Never let it be said that the Hyuuga family wasn't paranoid.

He hadn't been inside Hinata's quarters since they were tiny children playing without scruples for that sort of thing, and he didn't remember them very well, so the new "adaptations" made for his tenure did not jump out at him. Pity the friendliness of their childhood was completely gone—No, Neji told himself firmly, it wasn't a pity. He should resent her, the utterly inept daughter of the Duke cut out for inheritance while Neji's talents were wasted as her _chaperon_. Really, could his uncle have given him a job more humiliating than that?

"Ah…th-that's for you," Hinata began, gesturing to a corner of the room that was curtained off. Neji assumed that the changing screens next to Hinata's bed and blocking the gauzily curtained entrance to the bath had also been added for his benefit. When Hinata did not make to say anything else, he strode over to the area she had indicated, fumbling along the heavy velvet drapes for several seconds before he found an entrance. Damn curtains.

The space was about the size of a servant's quarters, if more richly decorated, and Neji might have taken insult had he not been expecting it. At least the rug was nice, and the small table and wardrobe were mahogany, from the looks of it. The bed was plain wood, but it was obviously a servant cot—his uncle would have had to commission specially for a bed that was decorated for a noble yet sized for a servant, and Neji was sure the man had only given him spare furniture from elsewhere in the manor. His things appeared to have been brought up, to judge by the pair of trunks at the foot of the bed. He unlocked the first and began to move his clothes to the wardrobe. He didn't want anyone touching his things, even though he probably still had enough status to get a servant to do it. His earlier remark to Hinata implying the opposite, he decided, must have been born of resentment…this slightly unnerved him, as he prided himself on not being one to act in the heat of the moment.

…No, he decided, Hinata had needed to be jolted into realizing what Neji himself had long ago: that despite childhood promises of a fief and title, Neji was destined by his uncle to become a virtual servant of the main family, in the grand Hyuuga tradition. Neji's cruel words were the only possible way for her to realize this, a fact which had obviously been carefully calculated by his subconscious before he opened his mouth. Yes. That was it. It was all calculated.

Neji was jolted from his self-reassurance by a brisk knock on the door, which was opened before any response. There was the sound of footsteps approaching, and a quick 'bamph-bamph' of palm hitting thick curtain before that too was drawn aside immediately.

Neji turned and glared, but Ino just beamed at him before setting down a writing desk and kit on the bed.

"Lord Neji! So nice to see you again!" she winked. "Did you miss me?"

Neji simply rolled his eyes. No common servant of the Hyuuga household could have gotten away with acting so casually, but this was Ino. The Hyuuga household had been in debt of the Yamanaka and Nara families ever since fifteen years previous, when Inoichi Yamanaka and Shikaku Nara had taken down an assassin that had rushed Hiashi during a routine check of the peasantry, at the risk of their own lives. Since they were his servants, Hiashi wasn't about to reward them traditionally for saving a noble's life, but shortly afterwards Shikaku found himself promoted to steward (a job which had previously been handled by a now-dead cousin of the Duke himself), and Inoichi to the Duke's personal bodyguard. (Inoichi was the taller of the two, so the Duke had likely been going for the intimidation factor.) Similarly, a few years later young Shikamaru and Ino discovered that they could get away with quite a bit more than any of the other servant children could. And to judge from what he had seen of their current attitudes, becoming an official part of the staff hadn't done anything to make them lose their casual attitudes.

Having deposited the writing supplies, Ino turned and made as if to leave,

but Neji reluctantly halted her.

"Wait."

"Hm?" Ino turned. "Did you need something else?"

Neji sighed. "I've been gone for 5 years," he said simply, turning to the bed and beginning to set up the writing materials. "I need to know everything important that's happened here while I was gone, and you always know everything that happens here." He didn't mean it as a compliment, but he had to admit that Ino's gossiping could come in handy on occasion.

Ino frowned, crossing her arms. "I can't just stay here and fill you in on the last five years. I'm head of staff now, I have important duties to attend to."

Neji gritted his teeth, he'd been hoping Ino might have changed a bit more than she had. "What do you want?" he sighed.

Ino's entire demeanor changed instantly, from stubborn to victorious. "You've been at the castle for four days, right?" she cooed.

Neji twitched. He should have guessed. "Yes," he ground out.

"Well, if you could fill me in on the palace gossip, I _suppose_ I could find time to catch you up. It's _very_ important that the household stays on top of royal happenings, you know."

Neji sighed, again. "_Fine_."

Ino smiled. "So?"

"The Dowager Countess Tsunade will wed Baron Jiraiya in a month's time."

"Yes, I _know_ that much. They've been courting since before you even _left_," Ino sighed impatiently. "What haven't I heard yet?"

"The second son of the Emperor returned with me, and is staying at the palace."

"Ohhh! How long will he be here? What's his name? Is he handsome?"

"He'll be here indefinitely, his name is Uchiha Sasuke, and the court ladies certainly seem to think so."

"But I thought that the Emperor's family name was—oh, it's last name first there, isn't it?" Neji nodded. "So I imagine the Duke wants him to meet my Lady Hinata at the earliest opportunity?"

Neji sighed. "Why else would I request writing supplies so early after arriving?"

Ino giggled a bit, with no pity at all. "Does she have any competition? Has a lady caught his eye already?"

Neji shook his head. "In the five years I have known Sasuke he has never shown the most remote interest in anything in a skirt. Or a furisode, as the case was."

Ino pondered this for a moment. "So then, is he…you know?"

Neji blinked. "No. I don't know."

"You know, like Sir Zabuza."

"What about Sir Zabuza?"

Ino looked at him with slight disbelief. "Only about a dozen male prostitutes."

Neji stared back bemusedly. "There are male prostitutes?"

"_Honestly_, Neji, are your observations of people limited to what will assist you in court politics?" Ino seemed to be getting rather exasperated.

He paused. "Do you find something wrong with that?"

Ino shook her head, seemingly giving up. "Nevermind. Did the Prince come alone?"

Neji filled her in on what he had already told the Duke, before getting to the more shocking news. "And Anko is getting courted."

"Anko? As in Anko the head of the Royal Guard? By _whom_?"

"The Honorable Chouji of the Akimichi Viscounty."

Her jaw dropped open. "You jest."

"I do not."

"But…no one has ever considered that Anko might even _wed,_ much less…and isn't Chouji the _heir_? Shouldn't he be trying to marry up? And an older woman? I could see perhaps Lady Kurenai if she wasn't spoken for, even Shizune, since she's likely to inherit Tsunade's estate…but _Anko_? Does the Viscount approve?"

"Lord Chouza is sufficiently amused by the whole affair to give his blessing. He's a liberal man, and there are undeniably some benefits to the arrangement."

"Of course you'd think of some, what are they?"

"Anko has quite a bit of influence with the King, as the head of the Royal Guard, and she's a strong woman. Rank nonwithstanding, she would be an excellent addition to the Akimichi bloodline."

Ino considered this. "I suppose. Well, that's enough on your part, so

now for the goings on in the dutchy. First and foremost, I'm going to marry Shikamaru!"

"…That's the most important thing that's happened in five years?" Neji was skeptical.

"Well, it is to me! You could congratulate us or something, you know. Do you want to know how it happened?"

"Not particularly."

Ino continued on blithely. "Well, I was in the servant baths, and I'd forgotten to leave my things in the basket by the door, and Shikamaru came in, since it looked empty—I was just getting out, and then I saw him, undressed already, and we both were standing there motionless, staring at each other, until I noticed he was looking at my chest, and I told him if he wanted to look down there he'd better marry me first, and he said he might as well because it would be less troublesome than finding another girl and courting her! But our fathers said we couldn't wed for another three years since there was no rush, so we decided as long as we were already engaged we didn't have to marry first after all."

Neji twitched. "I did not need to know any of that, Ino. Do you have any _important_ news to share?"

"Well, my Lady Hinata's become a bit bolder, and Lady Hanabi is proving more of a handful than her sister ever was at that age. The Duke has been inviting suitors left and right, and then scaring them all off. Shikamaru suggested he appoint a chaperon to save himself some time after one of them got so nervous he pissed himself. My Lady herself has taken a shine to the King, but of course the Duke would _never_ allow that. Shikaku retired last year, and the old head of staff died, but you must have heard that already? Life has been fairly uneventful in the dutchy."

"Well, it's good to know some things haven't changed. What of the kingdom?"

Ino thought for a few moments, obviously running through the past five years in her head. "Well, the two oldest heirs to the Sand Kingdom both ran off a few years ago, so you probably didn't hear of it at the palace. Princess Temari became a knight for our kingdom, and Prince Kankuro is a wandering bard and monk."

Neji raised an eyebrow. "Is the royal life really that difficult?" Sasuke had never given him an impression it was too strenuous, but in hindsight the young man had certainly been eager to leave with Neji.

Ino shrugged. "The King hasn't raised a great deal of fuss thus far, but if Prince Gaara ever leaves I'm sure there will be hell to pay. What else has happened…ah, Lee the page became Sir Gai's squire, as everyone expected. Sir Zabuza has a squire now as well, he went off for some time a few years ago and came back with the prettiest boy anyone's ever seen. Incidentally, he's been laying off on the male prostitutes ever since," she finished smugly.

"Fantastic," Neji sighed. "Just what this kingdom needs. More rogue knights. Though if the responsibility of training a squire is enough to keep him out of the brothels, perhaps it will cure some of his other vices as well."

"…That wasn't quite the implication I was aiming for, Lord Neji," Ino muttered. Neji chose to ignore her, as he was still quite skeptical concerning the existence of male prostitutes in the first place.

Ino stood up suddenly, curtsying quickly. "That's all I can recall, and I really do have duties, milord, so I'll take my leave unless you want a death list, in which case I'll make someone else do it."

Neji waved a hand dismissively. "I heard of the deaths at the palace already. You may go." As Ino fumbled her way out of the thick curtains, he took out a sheet of paper and began to write.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

If you felt the gossip section was too long, that's only a little bit of the must-figure-out-every-detail-of-AU-verse! OCD thing I have. I have a MAP. And a CHART OF CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS. At least I know it amuses Fated, who helped me suss out most of the roles. (I have never seen or read Naruto. If you couldn't tell, my mission is accomplished.)

Chapter two coming...whenever! As for the "No shit, Sherlock," I absolutely couldn't stop myself, and then it was so LACKING when I tried to take it out. Be grateful for all the other wrong-time-period things I restrained myself from putting it. Such as references to poetry written by Oscar Wilde's boytoy. And I just read a supposed-to-be-medieval fic with references to cotton candy and sperm counts, so I'm feeling pretty good about myself either way.


End file.
